Sometimes it all seems too much. The change of becoming a mother is a huge step. You go from having all the freedom in the world, to being someone who is depended on 24 hours a day. It seems like the rest of the world is coping perfectly, but you just can't get a grip on it. All that you feel is a pit of dark swirling despair. Friends may pop in and things can be okay for a while, but once you are alone again the feelings of aloneness well up. You wonder how long you can cope with taking care of your child when you are hardly able to take care of yourself.
I personally suffered post natal depression.
I had three children within three years. I had gone from a happy go lucky person to a mother of a newborn, a one year old, and a two year old. I was unable to cope with the adjustments. I loved my children dearly but couldn't keep up with the demands of being a housewife and looking after them. My life revolved around changing nappies, doing washing and feeding babies. My friends no longer visited as they didn't have children of their own. I tried to get to playgroups to make friends with other mother's, but the playgroups were all age appropriate. I was not able to take all three of my children to the same group, and not allowed to bring the others if we did go, so we didn't go to any. Life was hard and things looked bleak.
One day, I woke up to myself as I found myself driving towards a power pole at speed. I swerved last minute as I didn't want to hurt my kids. I sat in my car and cried. It was time to get help.
I spoke to my local GP and was prescribed an antidepressant.
It helped me over the hard point and I was able to come off them a short time later.
I realised that the antidepressants weren't the answer to all my problems, but they were enough help to let me think more clearly. I learnt to look for the signs that I wasn't coping and to go out and socialize, even if it was just to the local park where the kids could run around. I also learnt that a well balanced diet made a difference. It meant I wasn't as tired and could cope with the emotions that surfaced. I also found, and to this day I still don't know why, that if I was feeling low I needed to eat more potato. Today, I still make a huge serving of mashed potato if I feel down.
Three and a half years after the birth of my third child, I gave birth to my fourth child. He was such a blessing. After going through the stress of having three babies so close together, I found it was so healing to just sit back and enjoy him. I think it made me appreciate my other children more too. I realised that it wasn't only me who went through post natal depression, it was my whole family.
My children are now in their teenage years and it still isn't easy, but I can say with confidence, "I am able to cope because I got help."
Please! If you suffer depression speak to your local GP or child health nurse. They are there to help you and they do care.
