My son has Asperger's Syndrome. He often didn't make eye contact while talking and prefered to monopolize conversations with his interests. He was and still is very awkward with hugs and touching. He has and had some strange tics. He tends to do things others may misconstrue as bad behavior. His table manners are below average and he seems to shovel food in and swallow it without even tasting it. He can make repetitive noises without realizing it, and often fiddles with whatever is in front of him. He can seem to be uncaring about others feelings.
In reality my son is very caring but doesn't always know how to show it. He does taste his food and enjoys it but isn't able to slow his eating down to normal pace. He likes to be touched and hugged but doesn't know how to relax himself while being touched. And he isn't a naughty child, he just doesn't always comprehend what is socially acceptable.
A child who has Asperger's Syndrome has a complex mind. They over think things and come up with the wrong response yet are extremely intelligent in things that interest them. Socially, their behavior is odd and while playing with other children they tend to dominate the play not understanding that each child has their own input they would like included in the playtime. This often causes other children to exclude them from play.
Aspergian's also like to dominate a conversation. When my son was about 10, he had instigated a conversation with me but once he had said his part lost interest. I had the pleasure of being told, "Mum, I'm not interested in what you're saying," and he walked off. As I had not yet come to understand Aspergian behavior, I was rather taken aback by his rudeness.
I believe the key to helping your Aspergian child is by help them to understand and comprehend social skills. They need to learn to read peoples body language and to respond in an appropriate manner because this does not come naturally to them.
With tics, fiddling with things and repetitive sounds I found the best way to deal with them was to let my son know he was doing it and gently asking him to stop. It takes a while but it can work. He no longer has any tics unless he is overexcited. This method also worked with coughing. He used to cough constantly. By reminding him to let his breath out all the way and take slow deep breathes he can now calm himself down. Nowadays, he doesn't tend to cough but forgets to breathe while talking. His head gets further and further back and his breaths more shallow. We use the same method of gentle reminders to breathe out and breathe slow deep breaths.
With constant gentle reminders and learning of social skills my son now leads a relatively normal teenage life including making great new friends.
The book "Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's" By John Elder Robison was a wonderful help in understanding my sons Asperger's.
John Elder Robinson explains how his childhood was marred by his misunderstanding of people and social behavior and how as he grew to an adult began to find his feet.
Before reading it, I was left to figure out what my son's train of thinking was and I could rarely understand why he did the things he did. I now understand that my son has a wonderful mind that sometimes just miscomprehends things.
Below are two videos I also found very helpful.
